The Soap Butcher



Most of us prefer the modern way of living and have ditched traditional bars of soap for liquid dispensers.

They look prettier, are less messy and are far more hygienic.

I love the different types that one can buy these days, especially the vanilla-smelling ones, the type that emit a foamy spray and the ones in beautiful bottles.

I do however, love the smell of Wright’s coal tar soap, so I always have one sitting at the side of my sink.

Last night my husband and I were downstairs and could hear the taps (faucets) opening and closing, followed by the sound of water trickling down the pipes up above.

The taps make a kind of grinding noise when closed, so this constant clamour was getting annoying.

I decided to venture upstairs to see what Sarah, my ten year old, was up to.

As I entered the bathroom, she quickly hid something under a towel and put on that expression of false nonchalance that I know so well.

“What are you doing?”


“Why is there water everywhere?”

“Don’t know.”

“And what’s happened to the soap?!”

(Shoulder shrug)

“Why is it all dug out like that?”

“I was cleaning my nails.”


“I just scraped them across the soap but it dented it a little.”

By now, her dad was standing by the door and was horrified when he glanced at the pathetic looking orange clump that was a lovely plump rectangle the day before.

“Sarah, why have you butchered the soap?”

“I haven’t.”

“But it’s mutilated.”

“I was washing my hands and fingernails.”

“So you decided to impale them right through to the other side?”

I could feel a giggle coming on so I made a quick departure.

I still haven’t a clue what she was doing.

Anyone got any suggestions?


9 thoughts on “The Soap Butcher

  1. I’m going with an answer of ‘ Because’..She’s 10, it says it all (says father of two daughters and grandfather to 1 granddaughter).
    (If it was a teenage lad they would try and mould it into some they thought would be hilariously phallic- and would still think it funny 25)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ahhh … as the mother of 2 girls I can confidently tell you that she was …. just doing it. She will probably only be able to explain exactly why she was doing it until she’s around 22, by which age she’ll have a full compliment of words which can be used to express the feeling she remembers having at the time she was murdering the soap.

    However … again, having the experience of having 2 girls … the question you should have been asking was: Exactly what have you done to your hands and fingernails which required you deep clean them like this? I think the answer to that question will have told you more than you ever thought you wanted to know. 😀
    (by the way, it wouldn’t suprise me if nail varnish had a part to play in this happy little incident. :s ) xxx


  3. This has tickled me lots and can’t stop laughing as to what Sarah did and what she was up to! May be she was trying to experiment what it’s like to do a manicure with soap lol


  4. Pingback: How To Not Scream At Your Keyboard | Light-bites For Your Heart

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