The Demon Dog And My Big Ole Gob

James1:19

(Revised & updated version)

My lovely husband is not like me.

He hates attention of any sort especially if there’s the potential for embarrassment.

Last week during our church house group, we were asked to reveal three ‘facts’ about ourselves, one of which must be a lie. Then everybody has to guess which statement is the false one.

Naturally, this means that the two correct pieces of information should be as shocking and unbelievable as you can make it.

Unfortunately we were put on the spot and so had no time to prepare ourselves mentally.

There were 5 people before Anwar and as it drew closer to his turn, his melancholic temperament kicked in and he squirmed in his seat. Anwar hates activities like this.  In comparison, I hate is the fact that I still haven’t learnt to control my tongue.

Wanting to get it over and done with quickly, his 3 revelations were rather tame and  not very interesting.

I turned to him and whispered, “You could have told them that you used to jump out your bedroom window onto a mattress in the garden. You could have told them that you set fire to the neighbour’s lawn.” The next sentence came out rather loud. “Why didn’t you tell them that you used to have a dog named Satan?”

My better half turned his head and looked into my eyes. There was no love radiating from them. For some reason, the word ‘mariticide’ came into my head. His eyes drifted down to the thinnest part my neck and in my peripheral vision I’m sure I caught a glimpse of his fingers flexing.

17 pairs of eyes were all fixed on poor Anwar as imaginations ran wild.

In the car going home, he said, “You didn’t even explain that this was a childhood pet. For all they knew it could have been a dog we owned last year!”

I am wondering what we will be doing in house group next week. An extended time of prayer? A talk about the dangers of the occult? The benefits of moving to Australia? One thing I know for sure – on Sunday the church looked rather empty; especially the seats around us.

I’m still in the process of living out what God said to me in his love letter:

“If you talk a lot, you are sure to sin. If you are wise you will keep quiet.” (Proverbs 10:19)

“Sometimes you see people who speak too quickly. There is more hope for a foolish person than for them.” (Proverbs 29:20)

“So my children, be swift to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19)

“A person who is careful what he says keeps out of trouble.” (Proverbs 21:23)

Ouch!

 

 

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4 thoughts on “The Demon Dog And My Big Ole Gob

  1. This was hilarious. My husband is shy too, and I confess I am somewhat like you at times. In a recent meeting at church, I asked my husband if he minded if I joined in on the conversation before us, and told them what his ‘friends’ did to him for his ‘stag’. He said, “no, don’t tell”. He is always telling stories on me and often exaggerating in them as well, and he mostly likes it when I tell a funny on him. We have both been really good sports about this part of our marriage. Anyways, I didn’t believe him, and so in response to his “no” I made a groaning sound and told the story anyways. He wasn’t angry or put out, but I was not viewed as being “submissive” to the others. Sheesh! If they only knew how much I have endured in the story telling area! lol. .Even so, I had to eat humble pie later and apologize. ……………. As to your verses, they are so true. I know someone who fits the character role of “fool” and he has learned to keep his mouth shut recently. Wonder of wonders, those who are new to his acquaintance actually thought he was wise!!! Absolutely amazing! lol. …………. Bless you, sister. 🙂

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      • Actually, I didn’t look at his face. I just kept right on chatting because everyone was enjoying the story so much! lol. Even our pastor thought it was funny! It really was okay. It was just one of those situations where I was having so much fun, I ignored him. My bad! 🙂

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  2. Pingback: How To Not Scream At Your Keyboard | Light-bites For Your Heart

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