My Darkest Secret

beautiful blooms

While reading a very interesting blog, I was inspired by a writer to confess a secret.

Some time ago, he owned up to something that made me feel I should do the same, but I have so many blog ideas running round my head, that it got pushed to the back.

I already have four articles fighting to be my next one after I emerge from my silent period.

Yes, I am supposed to be taking a few months out in order to concentrate on reading other people’s literary gems.

But you know how the blogger-mind works – never sleeps – just hovers over the standby button eagerly awaiting someone to press it.

And Cat, you have.

So… my secret is one that I have confessed to a couple of people and I have been pleasantly surprised that on both occasions, someone has piped up, “Oh so do I!”

Each confession happened during a church house group when I was feeling relaxed and with my guard being so far down, it was trailing on the floor.

The first time that someone admitted they held the same secret, I wondered if they were just humouring me, but they then went on to explain in further detail.

I am pleased to say that this also happened the second time I plucked up courage to reveal all, so I am comforted that there are at least 3 other Christians in this world who hold this dark secret.

I feel so guilty about it though, that I have prayed about this many times. I even bought a book about ‘it’ and concentrated hard, hoping for a new perspective. “Change me!” I pleaded with my Creator.

But, I’m still the same. Then one day my step daughter confessed that she felt similar. Another kindred spirit! How refreshing. But still embarrassing.

I try to hide it but not sure if I’m very convincing. My husband thinks it is funny but I really hate being like this.


Like Cat, I’m not so sure I’m ready to reveal it to the world.

Please read my apology:


10 thoughts on “My Darkest Secret

    • 🙂 When I publish mine, you’ll probably think it pathetic compared to yours. But I hope that we will all think that about yours, not out of disrespect but because we can assure you that it is not as big a deal as you think. I’m sure you understand what I’m trying to say 🙂


      • I do understand what you’re saying and agree so much. Maybe when I tell mine, you’ll feel comfortable to share yours! 🙂 Thanks, Sharon


  1. Keeping a dark secret sometimes feels like you’re walking around with the seat tore out of you trousers. It causes you to be self conscience, limits your movements and hinders your enjoying life. Maybe the best way to resolve this predicament is to mend the trousers! 🙂


  2. Pingback: How To Not Scream At Your Keyboard | Light-bites For Your Heart

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