I can’t say it’s a new craze because it’s probably been around for years.
I first discovered it recently when I went onto YouTube, either searching for a song or a ‘how to’ video. A young, blonde, Eastern European lady popped up on the screen, looking at me seductively and spoke in a whisper so quiet that I thought she’d had an operation on her larynx.
While she continued to flutter her eyelashes, her well manicured hands glided slowly across a dining table, smoothing out the cloth.
“Speak up love, I can’t hear a word you’re saying!”
I soon came to realise that this was deliberate. In fact YouTube is littered with hundreds of ladies sporting bright nail varnish and tethered vocal cords.
ASMR is a growing fad. Apparently there are thousands of people who get turned on by listening to people talking quietly and slowly.
It seems now that each time I want to find out something new, I will be confronted with a whispering woman, trying to play with my brain and make it all wibbly wobbly.
Brain tingles is the most common description, but others have been more bold and referred to it as brain something else.
People are stressed. Overworked. Frightened and up tight. This new way of talking calms the nerves and settles the spirit to an almost euphoric state for those lucky enough to ‘get it.’
I must admit that at first I was amused. Then bemused. Then a little perturbed. Then I decided it was decidedly fetish-ish. Creepy even. (come on, I’m not a man am I?)
But although the hard-to-hear voices do nothing for me, I began thinking about how I am greatly affected by sound. In a positive way. Many everyday noises put me into a state of calm, relaxation, even sleepiness. This made me think I must be a potential candidate.
For, I love the sound of rain tip-tapping on the car roof. And splashing around the wheels, even if I am on the outside of the vehicle. I love the sound of crackling windows on a coach (eh? Ask my sister Abigail if you need explanation) I also love the plock, plock sound of snooker balls hitting each other and even though I’m not keen on the game, the stone-faced looking men, and the length of time it takes to win a match, I can sit down and watch an entire game just because it’s audibly pleasing. I don’t like golf either but I love the sound of the clapping. And I simply hate it when I’m sat next to someone in church who has got a smartphone for a bible. For my ears adore the sound of pages flicking, and therefore, I am ecstatic when the preacher asks us to find one of the minor prophets.
Flick, flick, flick forwards, flick, flick backwards. Gone too far. Flick forwards again. Found it. Sneezed. Lost it again. Flick, flick, flick.
My mission therefore, was to see if there are other ASMR videos that don’t involve tight-throated females trying to distract me with their fingers.
I typed in ‘Turning Pages’. I discovered that a music band has the same title. One poor lady who was searching for them ended up watching a young girl with a fat directory on her lap, turning page after page for 25 minutes. She was considerably freaked out. “What’s this?” she wrote in the comments, “I was looking for the group!”
But I discovered that I really liked the directory flicking. The sound is amazing and put my brain into a dozey haze. Then I suddenly switched it off. “Am I turning into a weirdo?”
Coming back to the bible, there is a verse that always calms me down and brings me peace without the fear that I’m getting a bit odd.
It says, “This is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our inner strength in the Lord is growing every day. These troubles and sufferings of ours are, after all, quite **small and **won’t last very long. Yet this **short time of distress will result in God’s richest blessing upon us forever and ever.
So we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4: 16-17 CEV / 2 Corinthians 4:18 NKJV)
** This means in comparison to the eternal life we will have in Heaven. One day our troubles will be over for good.
So, I may have some more fun listening to people scrunch up bits of plastic – that’s the next best one after the page turning. But tingles? No. Drowisness, yes. Goodnight.