(This is dedicated to brave, sweet Phoenix

and all other ladies to whom this relates)


“But if any of you causes one of these little ones who trusts in me to lose his faith, it would be better for you to have a rock tied to your neck and be thrown into the sea.” (Matthew 18:6)

It’s pure evil to harm a child. Children are a gift from God, so it is even more indescribably evil to bring physical and emotional pain onto our innocent offspring who can’t fend for themselves and are looking to the grown-up for care, love and support.

Most of us have heard of Sybil and the Peltzer brothers, yet sadly, there are many others who could write a similar book.

God loves the world, but detests the sin, especially when the transgression is toward a helpless child.

It’s understandable that many abused by their parents, can’t comprehend the truth of a loving God; and to refer to him as ‘father’ is alien, even sickening.

But this heavenly, proper dad, wants all creation to know how vast is his love towards his young, tender shoots and how angry he is when he sees them being mistreated and cut down. Whether it’s the sicko policemen who are randomly shooting at homeless youngsters on the street, the venom-tongued relative spouting poisonous words that crush the little spirit, or the dad creeping into the bedroom at night whilst the mother pretends it’s not happening.

One of my close friends used to put on 3 pairs of pyjamas to stall the ‘inevitable act’, but this just made her father angry. After 21 years of beating, he finally dragged her into the middle of the road and stripped her naked in front of the kids playing ball. These were the children she taught in Sunday School.

So cries of, “Well, where was God?” ring out across the nations. “Why didn’t he stop it if he’s so powerful, and compassionate?”

It’s not my job to try and be clever, so I’m not going to attempt to stick up for God. The world is evil, period. The arch enemy of God is Satan, who was thrown out of Heaven when he became too arrogant. His one, sole purpose now, is to try to cause as much hurt, pain, trauma and degredation as possible, because we are God’s kids.
He knows that what hurts a parent the most is too see their offspring distressed.

But God never planned for us to live a life without his constant help and support. He may allow certain things to happen, but that does not mean that it was his will nor does it mean he doesn’t care.

Jesus said, “In this world, you will have trouble, but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world.”

What does that mean?
Simply put, when Jesus came back to life after being the sacrifice for our sins, he took the power of death away from the devil, meaning if we turn to God to help us in this life, we will be abundantly blessed by:

1. Going to heaven when we die. An eternity where there is no more sickness, loneliness, mental anguish, suffering, torment, insecurity and fear.

2. Divine assistance on Earth. So we are given the strength to continue, the power to forgive, the zeal to start again, peace in our hearts amidst the turmoil and hope for the future.

It’s not easy and we we’re never expected to do anything in our own strength.

  • But God wants to comfort us.
  • He wants to remove the bad memories.
  • He wants to take away the sounds of anger.
    And the sounds of flesh being slapped, thumped, ripped, bleeding.
  • He wants to take away the feeling of terror and the agony of body parts hurting so badly.
  • He wants to take away the immense loneliness and rejection that affects everything you do today.
  • He wants to take away the anger and shame. Shame that isn’t even yours to feel, yet it’s there following you about wherever you go.
  • He wants to remove the feelings of unworthiness and other feelings too terrible to describe.

For all this to happen, a miracle is needed, because as humans, we naturally end up with diverse problems, having had to cope with so much from such an early age. But God not only can do this for you, he WANTS to. With all his heart.


God, I can’t say ‘dear God’ because I don’t know that you are. I can’t call you ‘father’ as I don’t know what a true father is.
People say you love me, which I find so hard to believe. I am angry at the thought that a God exists, who saw all that I suffered as a child. My heart was so tender, yet it has been broken for as long as I can remember. I want to scream at you and say, “Why didn’t you do something about it?” I want to scream at Christians and say, “Shut up! There is no God! You don’t know how I feel or what I’ve been through, so stop harping on about love and forgiveness. Just go away!”

But God, there’s also a tiny seed in me that says, you are listening because you really are real. You are here looking down at me right now. But I hurt so much and the pain is so bad that I’m scared to talk about it too much in case it stifles me. I am choking and I can’t cope any longer.

I need you to prove that you are real and that you do love me. Can you really make a difference in my life? Then prove to me that you care. Take away all this pain and torment that hangs over my mind like a big black cloud. Hold me while I cry, so the grief doesn’t kill me.

I can’t do this any longer. I can’t live with this pain and anger. Please take it away and replace it with your peace.

Take away the nightmares. Take away the memory of faces and voices and smells and sounds. Take away the hatred of certain colours and people who remind me of those I wish to forget.

Change me and free me from this rejection that hits me in the pit of my stomach.

I acknowledge that I need you in my life. Come to me now and show me how much you care. Show me who I really am and who you created me to be.


Well done. That’s a great start. I’ll be praying for you and I’ll be back to help you some more. I’m no counsellor but he is and he died to set you free from all this pain. Because he loves you.

So Jesus called the children over to him and said, “Let the children come to me! Don’t try to stop them.” (Luke 18:16)