Imagine a small ‘q’. For it is not Elizabeth, our Royal Highness who brings on my contempt, but that queen wasp who loves to hibernate in our house and awaken from her sleep in March. Many a person has asked me, “ How are you so sure it is the same one?” And of course, that is a rather sensible question considering the striped lady is always let out of the window once caught. But I have decided that she likes to come back in again just like a child takes delight in running back round to the steps after a ride down the slide. It is somehow worse knowing that it is more than one coming inside to visit me, so I stay in denial. As far as I’m concerned, it’s far too early in the year to be dodging stinging insects. In August I can just about tolerate it because England tends to drown them all with it’s rainy, cold summers.

I was in the bathroom washing my face. It’s one of those rooms that is in the middle of the house, so there are no windows. An extractor fan ushers the hot water steam up through the roof, into a tube in the loft, which then expels it outside.

Just as I lifted my head and grabbed a towel, something large and fell from the ceiling into the sink. It was a massive female wasp from the Monarchy. Now, I know they are dosey in Spring after such a long spell of sleep, but I think the hard white porcelain surface of the sink must have concussed it a little. A second earlier and it would have had the soft landing pad of my head and as I would have instantly stood upright, it would have then enjoyed a nice ride down my neck

My knight-in-shining-armour husband, lovingly came to my aid by catching it in a glass and letting it out of a window.

I thanked God for his protection, but from then on, each time I entered the bathroom, I would look up at the ceiling before proceding further in.

Unfortunately for me, four more wasps were seen in the house and it became evident that they were emerging out of our loft because the hatch was open just above our bedrooms.

This didn’t freak me out too much as they always came straight out and headed for the hallway window opposite the hatch. Being creatures that are attracted to light, that was the obvious choice. That was until one came out at night. Yes, it was dark and had nothing to do other than follow the only light it could see. We were sat up in bed reading with our lamps on. Well I say reading, Anwar had fallen asleep so his book was tilted at a strange angle and I was messaging a friend on WhatsApp. All of a sudden, Anwar woke with a start and let out a groan. I thought he was having a night terror with sound effects, but his eyes were fixed on the wall ahead and the buzzing noise was getting louder.

I shot under the covers while Anwar yet again became my hero and disposed of our intruder. But how did it get in? All windows & doors were tightly shut. The next day I bent down and studied the gap under our door. Not having carpet in that room meant it was an easy slide under for our noisy friend.

I promptly got the 3 long draft excluder cushions we possessed and blocked all the upstairs doors. So it was to my horror that the next night, buzzing could be heard again in our room as loud as ever. Anwar was asleep so I dropped my phone, threw a sheet over my head, and let out a pathetic little scream.

I lay there silent, listening. It must have been very near, for as I lay there, rigid, I could feel a resonance close by. It was on Anwar’s pillow! Too close for comfort…but then my ears revealed something that put me at ease and made me chuckle. It wasn’t a wasp at all. It was Anwar… snoring.

God bit

I thought of that bible verse that says,* “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” It’s true that if we focus on our fears and anxieties, they will cause us to start acting like we are mad. People do stupid things when they are scared. I am making a concious effort to lay my fears down at the feet of Jesus and let God breathe peace into my heart. So the next time I feel fearful, I will remind myself of that popular quote, “Don’t tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems that you have a big God.”

* 2 Timothy 1:7

I’m not keen on spiders either…